


And I Beg of You, Please

by HonestlyCasualTaco (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura has depression, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Everyone is working through feelings, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk is homesick, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, Lotor is feeling bad, Lotor is gay, Lotor redemption arc, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Only Friends, Pining Lance (Voltron), VOLTRON SEASON 4, Voltron is a mess, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, i am very gay, lance and lotor will be friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-01-30 02:50:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12644628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/HonestlyCasualTaco
Summary: They were kids. Thats all they were, fighting in a war that came after them. The thing is wars change people. And in the end no one is the same.





	And I Beg of You, Please

Being almost killed was tiring, it was almost every day for them but this, taking out more than half the Galra forces  was way more than usual but nonetheless it was still very  tiring.But yet right after they had to help with count, figure out who was still alive (You should have seen how much Pidge cried when she saw Matt again ), and then get the rest of the rebels and allies to safety. Now Lance along with the others were more than tired. Lance wished he could be anything else but tired.Yet here he was, tired. He honestly thought as soon as he got back he'd get to sleep but then Keith came back. That was an hour of talking and getting information from him alone, but Lance would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy the jerk was back. Even with his little stunt. Yet Lance still let out a loud groan when Kolivan said he had more to tell them. He was close to tears, fake dramatic tears of course but he couldn't help but know that some of them were real. They disappeared when he realized that they were receiving a transmission. Another loud groan. Kolivan excused himself. Saying that he'd call them once this was over. Confusion settled on their faces. Allura moved to question him. 

 Though it all stopped when they saw Lotor. Everyone stiffened, there was an almost deafening silence. Lance was sure that he was going to cry real tears if he had to get back in red. He knew he wasn't the only one who was tired. Lance realized he hadn't been paying attention when the words, " I'd like to form an alliance" meet his ears. Shock enveloped everyone's face. But not Kolivan's Lance noticed. Allura stuttered a bit before a loud unprofessional "What!" Lance would of laughed under different circumstances but this was something that was far more than just a simple flop for Allura. She had right to act so. Lotor, son of Zarkon wanted to help them. Lance briefly wondered if this was a new low for Lotor. As a prince it probably would be.  

"I understand how surprising this is for you princess, I am sure you have heard my troubles with my father, I have been disowned. My team has left me, and now I only have you, Voltron. I know we have had our differences in our past but I have come to realize that I have been wrong, I wanted to do what my father did and this is where I got. If you would consider it then I would like to aid you in this battle against my father." 

Silence, complete and total silence. Allura was still shocked, her body ridged. Lance couldn't see her face from this angle but he was guessing that it was one of either pure horror or anger. A scoff from Shiro and she straightened and spoke. 

 " We will have to see, this is a very difficult decision on our behalf. We will contact you once we reach an agreement." 

 And like that he was gone. Pidge, who had never taken her eyes off the screen was almost sure she had seen fear flood the princess face. A frown adorned her small cheeks. Coran ran up to the princess, holding her before setting her in a nearby chair, she was near fainting.

"Go to the lounge room, Allura and I will be there soon."

The hesitation was clear in the paladin's actions, most still stiff with shock, the others simply eyeing the princess. Shiro simply ushered them out, taking one glance back at the two aliens and headed out.  On his way out, he saw that the paladins were still very tired. They all shuffled almost silently to the room. Shiro wished he could be the one to allow them to sleep but this wasn't a quick fix situation. 

 "Hunk, you and I will go to get some snacks and such from the kitchen, I expect you all to be in the lounge room when we get back."  

Hunk didn’t do much other than nod as the other children proceed to keep shuffling on.  

"Maybe change into something other than armor." 

 Before he turned away he saw the frown on Keith's face and walked away before Pidge and Lance prepared to race to their rooms. 

Hunk and Shiro made slow quick strides the kitchen. 

 "You know I wouldn't mind if you changed to."  

The door of the kitchen swished open and they both made their way to the cabinets. It was still quiet as they shuffled through them. 

 "What if Lotor is a trap? I would rather not want to change again thank you very much"  

Hunk's eyes swam with worry, he wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't even sure he had any hint of what was to happen next. What was the Galra's next move? Is Allura okay? Hunk still couldn't get that fact that they almost died out of his head. Death wasn't something Hunk would like to think about. Not at all. Slamming the cabinets shut he effectively pulled himself out of his own mind. 

 "It's possible, but the lions can't go into battle anyway" 

 Hunk's eyebrows lowered. Was Shiro...trying to help? If so, he was doing a bad job at it. Hunk threw some energy bars onto the counter. 

 "Besides I don’t think it will be, he is right on the nowhere to go part. The entire Galra Empire is after him now, and it's not like he can go to any other planets, he is still Galra" Shiro snatched some water packets from the fridge. Hunk rested his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes and he leaned on the counter. He let out a low whine before slamming his hands on the defenseless counter.  

 "But what if? Your right he is still Galra and that’s why we can't trust him, he tried to kill us Shiro! Kill us! You can't just 360 and suddenly be good and want to fight the good fight like that! I don’t like this." The anxiety was getting to him and as tired as they all were that just made it worse.  

"I know that" 

 "What if he is lying, what if he still has his generals? What if this is an ambush? What if as soon as we let them on board they try and kill us again? None of us are prepared for that!" Shiro set the water pouches on the table and walked toward Hunk. He rested his non-robotic hand on his shoulder. 

 "You are right, what if all that happens. I know how you are about a gut feeling, you won't back down and last time you were right. But I have a gut feeling too Hunk. Voltron is to help the universe, to help everyone who can't help themselves and unfortunately Lotor is one of those people. He has nowhere to go Hunk, if he does come on this ship, if we do have to work with him I will be with you every step of the way." Hunk simply kept his head in his head, nodding softly to Shiro's words.  

"Okay" Hunk's frown was still on his face. With how deeply engraved the fear and anxiety was in his face, one would think that he was forever like that. But the small glint of hope gathered in his eyes and Hunk pushed himself up off the counter. 

"Is that all the water pouches?"  

* * *

 

Lance sadly didn’t win the race to his rooms; Pidge's room was closer and he idiotically didn’t take that into account before challenging her. But the smile on her face was enough that Lance didn't argue a rematch.  

"You only won because I let you" Lance spoke, air hurling out of his throat. It wasn't that long a run but he was already so tired.  

"Yeah right, punk!" Pidge's small voice emerged from her room. Again with the changing with the door open. Shiro should really enforce her not to do that more often.  

"I'm not Keith" 

This earned a loud "Shut up Lance" from further down the hallway, where Keith now stood. Of course, he had walked leisurely, he never wanted to enact on their little games. Besides most of the time angry little Keith was off just not around them. Training or in his room while these antics went on. Then there were other reasons, as in the Blade of Marmora. This granted a furrow of eyebrows to Lance. 

Lance didn't hate the Blade of Marmora, they were allies! Good allies that helped a lot in fighting against Zarkon but they also took Keith away. Not in the possessive sense but in the sense that they needed Keith, not just him. The amount of shows to gain allies that quickly went boring were due to his part with them, Keith almost dying was due to his part with them. Now yes, maybe Lance was a little rude to Keith but that in no way warranted that little bugger to go and try to kill himself! Yes, he would have done the same but that does not give Keith an excuse. They needed him, even with Shiro flying the black lion he was needed.  

"You are a punk!" Lance joked back before getting farther into the depths of his head. He should really just go get ready. Pidge snickered in her room.

"You really are Keith!"  

The red paladin just walked to his room grumbling under his breath about how stupid they were. Lance let out a laugh before closing the door to his room.  

He sighed before rushing to fall on his bed. His sweet, sweet bed. Lance was so close to falling asleep before picking himself up. Moaning about how as a paladin he needed sleep and that he was going to die if he couldn't at least get in a nap. Groggily pulling off his hunks of armor he walked to his bathroom. In the mirror the rag doll version of Lance looking back at him. His limbs looked near lifeless and his eyes simply darkened by the lack of sleep. Lance ignored his reflection and proceeded to splash water on his face, not caring that his black suit was getting wet in the process. It startled him when the water hit his face but he simply went to take off his shirt as tired as before. Well that was sooooo helpful.  

Walking back to the bed area Lance slipped his long sleeve off, chucking it onto one of the pieces of his armor. Soon his pants joined the pile and the urge to fall asleep in his bed was almost stronger than the Galra forces. Yet a paladin of Voltron must be strong! Lance turned to his dresser and quickly grabbed his pants. After heaving his pants up his long legs he proceed to nab his shirt off of the top of the dresser. Walking toward the door he pulled his jacket off his bed. His warm and soft jacket. Giving a small yell of defiance towards sleep he stumbled out the door. Stupid Lotor, ruining his sleep schedule.  

Outside Pidge was starting to come out of her room.  

"Sleep finally getting to you? I almost passed out in my room."  

"Yes it is, but guess who is going to get some nice, sweet alien space coffee"  

Lance let out a loud gasp. Coffee! The next best thing besides actually sleeping. 

"How!?"  

Pidge only giggled in response before smirking. "I stay up late at night, what makes you think that I would have not found out that we have a space coffee. Besides Coran needed help with the storage area once and me and Hunk decided since we were bored and curious that why not help! And with the help of Hunk and Coran's knowledge we made something beautiful!" 

Lance clapped as Pidge bowed. Happily proclaiming thank you's as they walked down the hall. As they neared the entrance to the hall they heard a door whoosh open. Lance quickly turned on his heel, more lively than before. Keith simply walked toward the two a questioning arc of his eyebrows.  

"Pidge has space coffee!"  

Keith simply grunted and continued on the path. 

"Like Lotor will care"  

* * *

As Keith entered the lounge room he roughly plopped down onto the couch. Of course, Lance would not give any shit for Lotor. Because its Lance, stupid carefree Lance. Huffing and crossing his arms Keith slid further into his seat, scooting closer to the edge and bringing his leg up.  

He'd much rather be asleep now, or alone. Both sounded like excellent options. Tugging his leg closer to his body Keith gently rested his check on it.  

What did his team really think of his little stunt?   

He didn't have long to dwell on the thought as Lance walked in killing the silence with his voice. Groaning he got up and went to the kitchen. Maybe Shiro was still in there. 

* * *

 

Hunk was now quiet as they found a platter and began the walk toward the lounge room. Shiro knew he was still worrying, anxiety doesn't leave with a simple agreement, but he knew it was now at a lower level than before. He didn't know what else to say, the spur of the moment announcement he had with Hunk was probably really stupid. The possibilities are endless here and making this one small promise to Hunk would probably cost him later. He opened his mouth, ready to talk more about what the promise pertained but then Keith came into view.  

Shiro had to stop himself from sighing.  

"Hunk how about you go to change and me and Keith will bring this food down to the lounge area?" Hunk simply nodded, handing off the platter to Keith and walked silently to his room.  

"Sooo what happened with y'all? Hunk normally wouldn't be so quiet." Shiro mentally cursed Keith. For someone so socially deprived he had to notice the little things. Shiro wasn't sure what to tell him. He sure as hell didn't want to be scolded by Keith about how promises were stupid and how he should have never done that. Yet he didn't want to dive further into to Hunk's anxiety with Keith. Who didn't really understand the concept of anxiety. Shiro sighed and adjusted the platter of water pouches in his hands.  

"Nothing, why are you here? I told you to wait in the lounge area." 

"Lance" 

Keith answered as if the answer had explained itself. As if Lance being himself was enough for him to be as angry as he was. Shiro gave him a look from the corner of his eyes. Keith simply grunted and quickened his pace. Shiro rolled his eyes and matched it. 

"Keith" To which the boy let out a exaggerated groan and came to a stop. 

"Fine! Its about Lotor, he is a huge problem Shiro and after Lance got changed he was just laughing! Talking about some stupid space coffee like nothing was wrong! Something is wrong Shiro, and we need to figure it out and not laugh about childish things like we aren't fighting a war!" The boy was practically shaking, his face red and his teeth barred. "How can he be that stupid? We don’t know if Lotor is luring us into a trap or not but he is concerned about space coffee!" 

In truth Keith didn't know if it was just Lance that was the problem. But in all honestly it was better to pin it all on Lance. Keith couldn’t always tell what was ticking him off but he always had a vague idea. He usually chose to focus and continue to get irritated at that thing until his anger dissipated. Which would usually take a while. Though this situation was different. Lotor was a BIG problem and wasn't something to be ignored but then there was the fact that he was annoyed at Lance for not being as irritated and concerned about it as he was. But he knew that wasn't it, there was this gaping hole going deeper, pulling at his heart strings. He was never good at emotions and usually he just pushed it aside. This time it was hurting though, his chest burning as if he had eaten fire, that would be way preferred over this feeling. Maybe it wasn't Lance, maybe it was the Blade of Marmora?  

Now the Blade of Marmora was a veryyyyy different thing. Sure, he loved the mission and the training but Kolivan was something that kind of ruined it. He understood why he was so serious but God was it annoying. He thought back to his teammates, shivers running up his spine. Would he be staying?   

"Keith"  

Shaking his head Keith looked up at Shiro. "What?" 

"We need to go the lounge area, we will talk about this later"  

With a grunt Keith and Shiro continue down the path and into the lounge area. 

* * *

 Allura knew what panic attacks were. Hunk had explained it to her one morning in a in depth conversation about anxiety when she had questioned why he was always so panicked. It was interesting to hear about this Earth disorder. She'd heard of similar things, a vague memory of a childhood friend who had it. She just thought it was something that was unfortunate, something that was easily dealt with. She was wrong, very wrong.  

She always had her Dad, besides she was always very confident in herself. Being a princess it had to be learned. She remembered just before her father locked her in the pods. She was panicked but she didn't get to the point. Being locked in a pod did have its affects. Though now laying on the floor with Coran, huffing through her tears she wished she was in them again. Maybe she'd come out and see Lotor wasn't that big a problem. That wouldn't happen and she knew it. 

The thing was she didn't even know why she was so panicked. Yeah Lotor was Zarkon's son but if that was Zarkon on the screen she wouldn't of done this? She would be shocked and probably question him but never this. And her head was starting to hurt by trying to sort this out.  

"Allura, talk to me. I want to help you but I need you to talk to me." 

Shivering in Coran's arms she looked up into his eyes.  

"I-I, I'm not sure Coran. I don't even know where to begin." 

In all honesty Allura did. The fact that they almost died, that Keith almost died, that Lotor wants to be allies, the fact that she'd have to get up in a few minutes and continue on with her head held high. She was tired. Not tired like Lance kept complaining he was, but tired emotionally. She could never sit down, she could never just rest. At first, when she woke up and found the paladins it was for her father, to avenge his death and it still was but it had faded. She had her resolution, she had got to see him one last time, even as a hologram. She never mourned though, she never got to sit down and cry for her loss. For her family, for her citizens, for her planet. Every time she tried to go to sleep her mind would bring her to these thoughts and she would just get back up and work.  

She knew building it up was unhealthy but she was a princess. Correction: A Queen. More tears fled to her eyes at the thought. She didn't want to be royalty anymore, when she was younger and in her mother's arms waiting for her father to come home she'd go on and on about how what she would change as queen. How she would make all food free, how sh

e'd have to have mandatory piggyback rides, how every time she entered a room she would be congratulated on how amazing she was. She was younger then but her mother simply smiled and went along adding suggestions. Her mother. More tears.  

Where was she when she died? Where was her family? How scared where her people? She didn't want to be queen, much less a princess, she wanted to be asleep, in her parent's arms like a child. She missed her mother's perfume, her father's beard.  

Then Keith. What was she to do with Keith? The paladins? She could barely control them, when they weren't out doing missions and training they were out and about the castle. Doing whatever in  _her_ home. They weren't all that bad Pidge and Hunk were smart, Shiro was helpful but Keith and Lance mostly fought, with Keith gone Lance just joked. They put so much on her shoulders. She felt like a mother, with children who always ran wild. If she wasn't working, she was supervising them. She knew her place but she couldn't help but want to rather be sleeping.  

Almost being exploded wasn't helpful. She still couldn't shake the feeling in Blue. The want to cry. The tingles. She remembered shaking in her lion, so terrified that this was how she was going to die. In other battles she knew when they got knocked down to have hope, to work past it and win. They most always won but on that planet. . . She couldn't have hope, she couldn't struggle to survive. She had to stop from thinking about how much easier it would be to go. To just go with the planet, leaving all her sweet worries behind. It was to much and it was the end. Until it wasn't. Until she was back in the castle and very much alive. She couldn't cry then, she was to shocked. She had thought that. She had considered it for even a second. Yet sitting in her seat trembling she couldn't find it in herself to care. They had almost died and her skin was crawling. A fate worse than death? Then she had to go back to work. The tingles had faded then but they were back with a fury now.  

Now Lotor, big bad Lotor. That was the thing that set her off, that pushed her to here. After almost dying she had to deal with him? Out of all people! She knew what he could do. He could kill them and the demented thoughts of letting him on just for that reason was getting to her. Her father wouldn't of accept those thoughts.  

So yeah, maybe she did know, but that didn't stop her from not accepting it. She twisted into Coran. 

"I can't- I can't deal with Lotor right now Coran. Not now, I-I just want to be sleeping. -I just want to sleep. This is to much, we almost died."  

Coran didn't answer but hummed into her hair and fondled the locks.  

Coran was an amazing man. A amazing uncle. He was always a uncle to her, and he acted like so to. When her mom and dad went to diplomatic meetings without her Coran was always there. With a board game, or a story. In blue after escaping the planet she wondered about him, while trying to calm down her thoughts. She almost cried when she thought about leaving him. How he would feel if they died. The last Altean. The feeling of dread filled her. She couldn't ever leave him.  

Coran pulled Allura to her feet. He gave her the saddest smile she had ever saw. She almost left him.  

"You are going to be okay Princess. I understand perfectly. After this I will get more of Hunk's famous milkshakes and I will have you sleeping in no time. You will be okay. You are a princess. You can do this." 

She wanted to break down and sob again at his words. She wanted to tell him everything she was thinking. She instead willed herself to stop crying, the guilt of lying worse than her other problems. 

"Okay, give me a moment and I will be out there with all of you guys." 

Coran gave her a nice sweet smile, one she didn't deserve and gave her a hug before walking away. She had to stop herself from crying again but instead went to change from her armor to her dress.  

On the way she thought about her conversation with Hunk. He had explained in depth more about anxiety. Sure, she could identify with some of it but he had said nothing about this. . . death feeling. She'd have to ask him later.  

* * *

Coran was scared. Allura hadn't had breakdowns like that in a long while. Maybe when she was a child and she wanted her parents more than anything but this? He hadn't expected this. He understood though! He really did! Lotor trying to ally them and almost dying was pretty scary. But he couldn't stop his mind from worrying about her. He didn't want her to be alone on this. She was the only person that he had left. If anything had happened to her. . . He didn't want to think about that.  

Allura was tough. Coran knew that much, he had no reason to worry. He began to walk toward the lounge area. She was going to be fine. He believed in her. 

* * *

Hunk knew that Shiro was correct. At least in some sense. Lotor was scary. Lotor was evil and yeah as Voltron they ought to help him. But in a war you can't accept everybody. Right? Look Hunk wanted to be good, wanted to help as many people as he could but he had his limits.  

Sighing Hunk entered his room. He stood in the doorway before closing it. He was sweaty. Very sweaty, it tended to be something Hunk did when he was scared. And oh boy was he scared back down on that planet. On that bomb. Hunk really didn't want to think about that now out of all times. He just wanted to be in his own bed, in his own home. God, he couldn't think about that either. Unless he wanted to cry.  

Pulling off his armor he let his mind go blank. He lingered to long on his shirt and eventually had to sit down. He didn't want this. He didn't know what he wanted anymore. Sure he loved yellow, loved Voltron but he didn't love death. Nor the decisions and the fighting. Hunk was a fairly nice and not one for violence, but now the people he had hurt, even evil had gotten to his heart.  

This was never their war.  

Getting up he pulled his yellow shirt over his head.  

"Let's get this over with" 

* * *

Arriving in the lounge room it took only a few seconds to realize that she wasn't the only one who was tired. There were already energy bar wrappers and water pouches littering the floor and couch. Lance and Pidge at the center of it all. As if it had gravitated toward them.  Allura would tell them to pick it up but she couldn't motivate herself to do so.  

She simply found herself next to the loud chatter of the children and took a energy bar off of the platter.  

"Princess?" 

She lifted her head and turned to Shiro. Keith slumped next to him with a angry look on his face. Of course.  

"Yes Shiro?" She willed herself not to sound helpless. Coran plopped down next to her and grabbed her hand.  

"Are you good enough for us to talk about Lotor?" 

". . . Yes"  

Lance and Pidge stopped chattering and Hunk walked in. Almost as equally glum as Allura. He sat next to Shiro. A uncomfortable silence held over them, no one sure of how to start. 

Lance let out a groan.  

"He has a good reason for wanting to be allies with us, he really can't afford to mess up anymore relationships." 

"Lance is right, we have the same amount to lose here" 

Allura looked lost in her hand. They really were right. But she didn't want to risk anything. She let out a huff of disapproval.  

"We do need to make a quick decision, the Galra are still looking for him and we can't have him just waiting out there in space." 

"Lotor is evil, he tried to kill us if you can't remember! Kill us! I don't think we should let him on"  

Hunk mumbled a "Keith's right" before crossing his arms. Shiro gave him a look. Allura gave a laboured breath. There is no point in arguing. 

"Lotor may be vaulable to us and with his situation with Zarkon he really does have no reason to betray us. . . I will not allow him to walk around freely in  _my_ castle. We will have one of you watch him at all given time." 

Keith and Hunk looked as if they were just thrown into the airlock.  

"Allura! He is Galra! He has tried to kill us!" 

"He also saved you Keith, if you already forgot!" 

This quieted Keith down. Sure Lotor saved him from dying but that wasn't enough. He had enslaved planets! He was only did that to get on the paladins good side. They wouldn't care about that though. They wanted to let a criminal on the ship. If that’s what they wanted then they were going to get that. When he would be right then he would save their stupid asses.  

"Keith. . . I understand how you feel, I do but Lance and Pidge have a point" 

Keith managed out a scoff.  

"He knows about the empire, and he can never go back without them trying to kill him. I understand that he is dangerous, I understand that he has tried to kill us, do not think I have forgotten that Hunk but we are Voltron, and we. . . we have to help him. I wish we didn't, I really do but if it makes matters better I will set rules down to make sure we are protected. He isn't to be alone and I will have someone accompany him everywhere. We will use our communication devices and will check in with each other every 20 dobashes. I will put a voice lock on all of the rooms of importance. And we will very thoroughly scan his ship before he is allowed aboard. Before then we will meet him on one of the nearby planets without any inhabitants to endanger. We will check him for any weapons and we will make sure that he will not bring any danger to us before he is allowed aboard. If we are to do this I will make sure no. . . harm comes to us. Understandable?" 

Keith only huffed, everyone else let out murmurs of agreements. Coran gripped her hand harder.  

"Who will be the first on watch?" 

Allura's eyes leapt around the room. Who? With a heavy sigh she quickly made her choice. 

"Lance" 

"Out of all of us Lance, really!?" 

"Hey listen up mullet she picked me get over it! You are probably jealous anyway!" 

"She probably only picked you because-" 

"I picked him because it seemed most sensible. You and Hunk are to emotional for the job, Pidge would be far to curious and would ask far to many questions for him to get adjusted and I need Shiro to help me with planning and such. I understand you have doubts, I have some to about this choice but I did pick him for a reason. He is more diplomatic than any of you and less impulsive. Do not question my choice Keith, I do take things into account, I didn't do this only to annoy you." 

Pidge took this time to laugh and shove Keith.  

"Get wrecked punk!" 

"I'm not a punk!" 

"Oh, you so totally are" 

Allura was quiet as she rose from her seat. She gave Coran a small smile before letting go and patting his hand.  

"Lance, I need to talk to you"  

It was quiet before Lance followed her outside the room.  

"You understand how important this is right? How you behave in this situation could affect us all. I trust you Lance, I really do but this is a joking manner. I need you to be kind and nice but don't give anything important away. You understand?" 

All Lance really could do was nod.  

"Okay, Good. Now go tell the others to get some sleep." 

It didn't take long before Allura was out of the coorridor. Coran following behind her. How did she think she'd be able to handle this? What would Lance do? What would Lotor do? Coran up from behind her and  grabbed her shoulder. 

"Up for that milkshake?" 

She thought she was going to cry again. 

* * *

 

Lance was more scared than anything. Life and death wasn't something he should be in control of. He really did appreciate Allura's decision but he understood she didn't even fully trust him. Walking into the lounge room he put up a large smile.  

"Take that you punk!" 

Keith just growled and rolled his eyes.  

"Shut up!" 

Walking toward the platter Lance grabbed a left-over energy bar and began chomping. 

"She said we should go to sleep" 

That prompted everyone to quickly get up.  

"Finally!"  

"I don’t think I'll be able to sleep with that on my mind. . . " 

They all walked in unison down a new corridor. Lance lagging behind, a joke or two to keep up the act. Multiple goodnights rang from the separate rooms. Lance couldn't bring himself to say it back. He closed his door and dropped his jacket onto the dresser. Pulling off his shoes, he found himself in his bed sooner than he expected.  

Lance didn't know if he wanted to cry or not. He was given a important role, that he wasn't fully trusted in. He pulled the blanket closer in on himself. A knock brought him back to reality and he shifted to look at the door. 

"Come in" 

Shiro entered. He held his hands together, almost shy. He leaned against the door. 

"Sorry, I know your tired. I just. . . I trust you Lance. I think Allura picked the best person for this. I know you can do this. She wasn't right in calling out your flaws in front of the others. I know you can do this. I. . . you can do this." 

". . . .Thank you, Shiro. That means a lot to me." 

"Good to know. . . Night Lance" 

Shiro left before he could get a word in. Lance really wanted to cry now. He could do this.  

"Goodnight everyone!" 

* * *

Allura slipped into her bed, grasping the cold drink from Coran.  

"I'm sorry I caused such a commotion today, I should of done better."  

She didn't miss the furrow of Coran's eyebrows, a frown formed. He simply took the blankets and pulled it further up on Allura's body.  

"You did nothing wrong princess. You have been strong for so long, everyone needs to rest every now and then." The smile was back, settled nicely under his mustache. She simply nodded and sipped from the drink. Coran sat on her bed, hand resting on her shoulder.  

"Did I ever tell you about that one time your father-" 

Allura sipped the milkshake and listened along. Sure, as a Princess, scratch that as a Queen they underwent stress like this. Had breakdowns like this, but now, here in this war Allura didn't have time for that type of stuff. It wasn't simply taking care of citizens and making friends with the other planets, here it was making sure as many made it out of this war as possible. It was life and death. Every and any death would be on her hands.  

_Every death._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really thought that I should of left it on a good note but really, were is the fun in that? 
> 
> So this is my first story on Voltron! Not my first story on here tho, those I will re-do later on. But yeah thank you guys for reading, I'd really appreciate comments and just giving me feed back, help, anything really!  
> I have no clue when I will be updating this, I do still go to school so don't expect so much. But I do have new stories coming out, all in the Voltron fandom. Most will be centered around langst.  
> Workplace au- I haven't really worked on my plot and such for this one but the au is from a-zzura (check her outtttttt)
> 
> Shapeshifter au- I have the plot for at least 10 chapters down for this one and I'm so fucking excited to write this one next. Its about Lance being kidnapped and a shapeshifter taking his place on the ship. 
> 
> College au- For this one I'm stuck in-between two plot lines, I don't know if I want Lance to be depressed along with his anxiety or just have anxiety and deal with Keith. Yeah this one is full on Klance, might be some lancelot.
> 
> But yeah I have no fucking idea when I'm going to do these, my stupid ass decided that sports would be a good thing to add to my school year. But along with that I also might be doing a Rugby Au, because I'm in love with rugby and its my favorite.  
> Thank you guys for reading, can't wait to see y'all next update!!


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